I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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