I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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