...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Two words: nipple clamps
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