sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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