I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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