It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
