I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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