Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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