Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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