'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
