Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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