State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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