im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
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