i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
