dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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