where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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