talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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