I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
