Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
