im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
