there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
