i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Randomize
