Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
thus making me awesome and them whores
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
