I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
