To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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