she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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