Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize