But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
