Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
