what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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