But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
