let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
