He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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