That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
this boner is exhausting
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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