Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
