My room smells like vodka and shame
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
