Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
