Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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