Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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