He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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