OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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