I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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