do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
