I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
