I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
