Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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