there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
