sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
