ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
