im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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