Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We are two peas in an std pod
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
