Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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