There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize