i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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