hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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