i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Do vagina's smell?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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