1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
