Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize