don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
