there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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