There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
