The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
