Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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