Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
