My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
