The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
