that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
