I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
