Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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