I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
