My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Green mimosas i think yes
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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