too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
