Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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