yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
