went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
