Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Bring me that man meat
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize