you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
