When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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