I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
