You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
