We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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